This exercise in Loving Kindness is adapted from Marsha Linehan’s DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets. Loving Kindness uses mindfulness as a way to create feelings of love and caring. The practice begins by focusing on yourself first and then extends to focusing on your family, friends, people with whom you disagree, people you dislike or don’t get along with, and finally all beings.

To begin, get into a comfortable position whether this be seated or laying down. Take several deep breaths and open the palms of your hands. Think about yourself without passing judgment and start speaking or thinking kind things such as, “May I be happy,” “May I be at peace,” “May I be safe,” “May I be confident”, etc. You can add any positive words you want to wish upon yourself. Repeat the phrases to yourself over and over until you feel like you are wrapped in love and compassion. This may be difficult to do initially and you may have to practice several times before you become comfortable. If you notice your mind drifting, just let those thoughts come and go by saying, “I notice I am distracted right now” and then refocus on the positive phrases you are speaking to yourself.

Practice this daily until you feel you are ready to move on to someone else. Complete the process in the same way except replace the person you are thinking about with “I” in the above statements. For example, “May Kate be happy,” or “May my father be at peace,” etc.